A big house, insane amounts of alcohol, loud music, hot women in high spirits, a big wet pool and of course, 2 big cakes! One to be enjoyed in the manner cakes are supposed to be enjoyed and the other….to be eaten of course! That’s what’s on the checklist for all birthday parties, right?
Well…maybe not mine. You see, I have grown up now.
On the eve of my birthday, you can be sure to find me and my friends, NOT sitting at a pub, NOT having kamikaze shots, while I DO NOT try to make a fun conversation with that girl (who is obviously so incredibly hot, that if she was a seat belt, she would make a great branding iron everytime you decide to wear her). Instead we would in all probability be sitting with glasses of Pepsi and a big bowl of butter chicken, discussing services marketing and the different gaps between customer expectations and company production so that I have a one in a 12.4 billion chance that I get decent marks in my paper.
This is a conversation at a bar when I was young and 21 :
Incredibly sexy me: Hey!
Incredibly hot her: Hey incredibly sexy and ruggedly handsome hunk!
Incredibly sexy me: Would you like to have a drink with me?
Incredibly hot her: Yes! YES! YES!! YES!!! YESSS!!! In fact why don’t you let me buy you a drink and maybe we can both get drunk together and do some fun stuff in the night?? (in the hottest voice ever)
After a whole lot of drinking, we decided to spend the night at her place. Both of us got comfortable and cosy in her couch. We were a little worried that the neighbours might get disturbed due to the loud noises, but we continued nonetheless. Playing Super Mario while you're drunk is an unbelievably fun thing to do! Specially when you have a hot girl to play with!
And this is a conversation just before I turn 22:
My friend: How do you think we can manage to eliminate the gap between what our customers expect from us and what we are actually able to deliver?
Me: I believe we should somehow do a better market research on the segmented markets and do a thorough analysis of the propositions of each segment and then try and deliver value for money products and services to each segment catering to all their individual needs as a group. What do you think?
My friend: I totally agree with you.
I learnt that the ability to write good impressive answers is directly proportional to how well you can bullshit your way through them while at the same time throwing a lot of big words around so that your answer seems to be full of intellectual and knowledgeable data which would in turn, impress the readers. It seems simple and very easy....actually...it is.
And if all the excitement about writing a paper on my birthday wasn’t enough, I decided to get myself a tattoo too! Hehehehe…tattootoo!!….hehehe...I am so funny!
Anywhicheverway, after procrastinating for more than 20 years, I finally grew the necessary parts to face the needle and get it done. It’s going to be a strategically placed tattoo just above my elbow. I am planning to hit a couple of kamikazes before getting it done. But honestly, I think I am getting too old to do that stuff anymore.
(Source: The right side of my brain)